Castle of the Loyal Wives

I’d like to tell you about a group of people who understood who they were and what was truly important to them. The year was about A.D. 1140 at the Weibertreu Castle in Germany. This was not an easy time to be living. Thick castle walls, deep moats, and heavy gates were built for a reason. The battles that took place at that time were probably not all that different than those we read about in the Book of Mormon, where men fought hand to hand and eye to eye with their attackers and the occupation of the victors was most often devastating. King Konrad III and his powerful army attacked this castle of Weibertreu in a powerful siege. He knew his trade well, and those within the walls were unable to defend themselves. As the castle inhabitants were on the verge of surrender, Konrad, in a moment of kindness, said the women could leave the crumbling fortress, taking with them all they could carry on their backs. The gates opened, and the women staggered out, struggling under the heavy loads they carried. Konrad and his men were caught off guard, shocked and surprised by what they saw, for on the back of each woman was one of the men. They knew where their treasures were, and they chose to take what was very most important, even at the risk of stirring the anger of the soldiers. Konrad, touched by this tender display of love and loyalty, remained true to his word and, although his troops leveled the buildings, not a life was lost that day.

Those must have been among the most harsh and brutal times to live, and yet the people of Weibertreu were able to reach beyond that to some degree and hang on to what was most dear to them. They understood the importance of their relationships and were able to summon the strength and courage from within to preserve that which was needed for their survival. Although there is little in the way of physical remains of the castle in modern times, the story of the “Castle of the Loyal Wives” lives on and is still an inspiring reminder to young and old alike more than 850 years later. 

Janet S. Scharman “The Lord Thy God Shall Lead Thee by the Hand” BYU Devotional December 1, 1998

True Gratitude

True gratitude is the ability to humbly see, feel, and even receive love. Gratitude is a form of returning love to God. Recognize His hand, tell Him so, express your love to Him. As you come to truly know the Lord, you will find an intimate, sacred relationship built on trust. You will come to know He understands your anguish and will, in compassion, always respond to you in love."

Gene R. Cook, "Charity: Perfect and Everlasting Love," Ensign, May 2002, 83

I Want You To Play Football

A friend of mine recently shared what he considered to be a choice learning experience. It was provided by his young son. Upon returning home from his day’s work, this father greeted his boy with a pat on the head and said, “Son, I want you to know I love you.”

The son responded with, “Oh Dad, I don’t want you to love me, I want you to play football with me.” Here was a boy conveying a much-needed message.

The world is filled with too many of us who are inclined to indicate our love with an announcement or declaration.

Marvin J Ashton "Love Takes Time" October 1975 General Conference

True Love

 True love is a process.  True love requires personal action. Love must be continuing to be real. Love takes time. Too often expediency, infatuation, stimulation, persuasion, or lust are mistaken for love. How hollow, how empty if our love is no deeper than the arousal of momentary feeling or the expression in words of what is no more lasting than the time it takes to speak them.

 We must at regular and appropriate intervals speak and reassure others of our love and the long time it takes to prove it by our actions. Real love does take time. Love demands action if it is to be continuing. Love is a process. Love is not a declaration. Love is not an announcement. Love is not a passing fancy. Love is not an expediency. Love is not a convenience.

 Marvin J Ashton "Love Takes Time"  General Conference October 1975

Love of the very essence of life. It is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yet it more than the end of the rainbow. Love at the beginning also, and from it springs the beauty that arches across the sky on a stormy day. Love is the security for which children weep, the desire of youth, the cement that binds marriage, and the smoothing oil that prevents devastating friction in the home; it is the peace of old age, the sunlight of hope shining through death. How rich are those who enjoy it in their associations with family, friends, church, and neighbors.

I am one who believes that love, like faith, is a gift of God. I agree with the expression, Love cannot be forced, love cannot be coaxed and teased."  

 Gordon B. Hinckley "And the Greatest of These Is Love" BYU Devotional February 14, 1978

I've Said Too Much Already

You know, winning Sister Holland was not an easy thing to do. I worked at it and worked at it and worked at it until I finally had the courage to ask for her hand. In a romantic setting I said as meekly and humbly as I could, "Pat, will you marry me?"
To which she said, "Oh, dearest darling, dearest loved one, yes. Yes, yes, yes. When shall we set the date? Oh, we have got to reserve the temple. I know exactly what colors I want for the bridesmaids. Should we have the reception indoors or out? And someone must be at the guest book. And I can just see in my mind the cake that we want. . . ."
Then she stopped mid-sentence and said, "Oh, darling. You are so overcome you are speechless. Here I have just gone on and on. Wouldn't you like to say something on this night of nights?"
To which I replied, "I think I have said too much already."
She counters that story by reminding me that when I arrived for our first date, her little brother shouted to her, "Hey, dreamboat, your barnacle is here!"
Actually neither of those stories is true, but who knows? Maybe you can use them someday when you have to speak at BYU on love and marriage.

Jeffrey R Holland "How Do I Love Thee?" BYU Devotional February 15, 2000

Plimsoll Marks

One of the great purposes of true love is to help each other in these times. No one ought to have to face such trials alone. We can endure almost anything if we have someone at our side who truly loves us, who is easing the burden and lightening the load. In this regard, a friend from our BYU faculty, Professor Brent Barlow, told me some years ago about Plimsoll marks.

As a youth in England, Samuel Plimsoll was fascinated with watching ships load and unload their cargoes. He soon observed that, regardless of the cargo space available, each ship had its maximum capacity. If a ship exceeded its limit, it would likely sink at sea. In 1868 Plimsoll entered Parliament and passed a merchant shipping act that, among other things, called for making calculations of how much a ship could carry. As a result, lines were drawn on the hull of each ship in England. As the cargo was loaded, the freighter would sink lower and lower into the water. When the water level on the side of the ship reached the Plimsoll mark, the ship was considered loaded to capacity, regardless of how much space remained. As a result, British deaths at sea were greatly reduced.

 Like ships, people have differing capacities at different times and even different days in their lives. In our relationships we need to establish our own Plimsoll marks and help identify them in the lives of those we love. Together we need to monitor the load levels and be helpful in shedding or at least readjusting some cargo if we see our sweetheart is sinking. Then, when the ship of love is stabilized, we can evaluate long-term what has to continue, what can be put off until another time, and what can be put off permanently. Friends, sweethearts, and spouses need to be able to monitor each other's stress and recognize the different tides and seasons of life. We owe it to each other to declare some limits and then help jettison some things if emotional health and the strength of loving relationships are at risk. Remember, pure love "beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things," and helps loved ones do the same.

 Jeffrey R Holland "How do I Love Thee?" BYU Devotional February 15, 2000

Love is Really Spelled T-I-M-E

 

Our second key relationship is with our families. Since “no other success can compensate for failure” here, we must place high priority on our families. We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and family home evening and by just having fun together. In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time. Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home. We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. We establish a divine bond with each other as we approach God together through family prayer, gospel study, and Sunday worship.

Dieter F. Uchdorf "Of Things That Matter Most" Oct 2010 General Conference

I Love People

President Lee is not with us now, but the spirit of that love which he exemplified still lives in my memory. He has helped me to understand what Orson Pratt meant when he said, "The Children of Zion love in proportion to the heavenly knowledge which they have received; for love keeps pace with knowledge, and as the one increases so does the other; and when knowledge is perfected, love will be perfected also" ("Celestial Marriage," The Seer, October 1853, p. 156). We see this process, also, in the life of our beloved Prophet Spencer W. Kimball. Love was part of his life long before he became the President of the Church.

A stake president in Logan, Utah, kept a guest book, and after he passed away, that book was given to his son. When the son thumbed through the pages, he was very impressed with the signatures that were there. Most of the General Authorities had signed the book. One entry he saw was:

Name: Spencer W. Kimball

Date: 1954

Position or title: Apostle

Hobby: "I love people."

He thumbed through many more pages, and then he saw an almost identical entry ten years later:

Name: Spencer W. Kimball

Date: 1964

Position: Apostle

Hobby: "I love people."

We all know President Kimball is a man of love. He thinks of love as a way to overcome even unknown offenses. Such an incident occurred with one of his neighbors who would go out and talk to President Kimball whenever he saw him in the yard. Then one day the neighbor's wife said, "You mustn't do that. The only time President Kimball is alone is when he is in the yard, and then you go over and impose yourself upon him."

After that the neighbor stayed in and just watched President Kimball through the window. A few weeks passed before President Kimball rang the doorbell of the neighbor and handed him a casserole.

"What's this for?" the neighbor asked.

"I don't know," replied President Kimball. "I've come to make amends for whatever I've done to offend you. You never come and talk to me any more, so I decided I must have done something wrong."

It is President Kimball who has lovingly explained to us that the Lord whispers to our hearts to go and do, and in this way he answers the fervent prayers of others. President Kimball says the Lord has chosen this method of answering prayers because he knows it is the way we will learn most effectively to give love.

Barbara B. Smith "Love Is Life, and Life Hath Immortality" BYU Devotional 14 February 1984

A Beginning of Eternity

Let me share with you one of my favorite and true love stories. I happened into the story very late in its development. One night I went with my husband to a company dinner party. I sat next to an older man who was there with his wife. She had suffered a stroke, and so consequently he would lean over to cut her meat and help her with her food. His manner was tender and very solicitous. As he finished the meal, he turned toward me with a sigh. I said to him, "You are so good to your wife."

His reply: "Why shouldn't I be? I love her."

Then he told me about how they met and about their courtship and their life together. "The first time I saw her," he said, "was at a party in Canada. She was giving a reading. She had long golden curls and wore a beautiful white eyelet dress with a pretty blue satin sash. I was so taken by her that I told my mother that that was the woman I was going to marry. She laughingly indulged me. I went on my mission, and when I came home she was engaged to another. I was asked to take a special assignment by the bishop, and when I protested he told me that if I would always put the work of the Lord first, I would find that the Lord would always take care of me. I made the long trek to Salt Lake City. When I came home, she had broken her engagement. We started to date and then we married."

His wife rarely accompanied him in public after that dinner. It wasn't long until her condition worsened, and she was completely bedridden and virtually unable to speak. He was a General Authority and went out on his regular conference assignments to visit and counsel the Saints. It was his practice to come home and tell her all about the conference. One day as he finished, he teased: "If you are not going to speak back to me, then I am not going to tell about my experiences. You must not love me any more." Tears welled up in her eyes, and with great effort she rallied enough strength to form the words, "I do love you." It was laborious and extremely slow, but with great effort she got the words out. He determined he would never again treat their love lightly, for the love they knew transcended even the crippling hindrance of her physical impairment.

At the funeral of this very special woman, Zina Card Brown, every speaker commented on her love both for her sweetheart, President Hugh B. Brown, and for others. Elder Marvin J. Ashton declared: "Some of us are where we are because of her." President Marion G. Romney said: "Wherever she was, she was a loving lady." President N. Eldon Tanner declared that President Brown was successful because of her love. President Kimball said that the love of President and Sister Brown was such that they would soon be together everlastingly. Her love pulled them toward immortality--a beginning of eternity.

Barbara B. Smith "Love Is Life, and Life Hath Immortality" BYU Devotional 14 February 1984

The Lord's Money

Elder Lynn Robbins of the Seventy tells this story of a stake president from Panama.

As a young man recently returned from his mission, he found the girl he wanted to marry. They were happy, but very poor.

Then came a particularly difficult time when their food and money ran out. It was a Saturday, and the cupboard was literally bare. Rene felt distraught that his young wife was hungry. He decided he had no other choice than to use their tithing money and go purchase food.

As he was leaving the house, his wife stopped him and asked him where he was going. He told her he was going to buy food. She asked him where he got the money. He told her that it was the tithing money. She said, “That is the Lord’s money—you will not use that to buy food.” Her faith was stronger than his. He put the money back, and they went to bed hungry that night.

The next morning they had no breakfast, and they went to church fasting. Rene gave the tithing money to the bishop, but he was too proud to tell the bishop that they were in need.

After the meetings he and his wife left the chapel and started to walk home. They hadn’t gone very far when a new member called to them from his house. This man was a fisherman and told them he had more fish than he could use. He wrapped five little fish in a newspaper for them, and they thanked him. As they continued to walk home, they were stopped by another member who gave them tortillas; then someone else stopped them and gave them rice; another member saw them and gave them beans.

When they arrived home, they had enough food for two weeks. They were even more surprised when they unwrapped the package of fish and found two very large fish and not the five smaller ones they thought they had seen. They cut the fish in portions and stored it in their neighbor’s freezer.

They have repeatedly testified that never since then have they gone hungry.

Gordon B. Hinckley, “In the Arms of His Love,” Ensign, Nov 2006, 115–18

True Love

"You know true love is not looking at watch other in one of those old-fashioned loveseats --looking into each other's eyes. That isn't true love. True love is that love which comes into your heart and motivates your life when you arise from the alter and both of you look in the same direction, down through eternity. That is true love, where both are looking in the same direction.

"The Maori in referring to his wie says: "Taku hoa wahine." That means, "My companion wife." The wife, in speaking of her companion, says: "Taku hoa tane.""My companion husband." I like that a little better than just saying, "My wife," or "My husband."

""My companion wife," "My companion husband!" Companionship implies a oneness of direction, right down through eternity."

Matthew Cowley Speaks (Deseret Book Co., 1971), pp. 13-14.